A Brief Bio

The title says, "brief", but as a blog entry, it's a long one. I wrote this as an assignment for a class that I took last year, called PLA, which stands for Prior Learning Assessment. The class is to determine whether or not you have life experience from which you can apply the skills used to earn college credit. In order to do this, we had to log all of our experiences from which to extract these skills. It was cumbersome and very enlightening. The starting point was the following bio:

Mary Elizabeth Gail Stuckenschneider Stahl Loudermilk: My Life Since 1979

I’ll be blunt: I barely graduated high school. My Dad’s job precipitated my family’s move from Silver Spring, MD to Beaverton, OR the summer before my senior year. I wanted to stay where I’d spent grades 4 - 11 (I was born in St. Louis, MO - my family moved to MD when I was 9) and graduate with my friends. Instead I squeaked by, skipping classes and getting high. I was an above-average student until then, but I used the move as an excuse to slack off. My siblings and I weren’t encouraged to attend college. Neither of my parents had, and most of our contemporaries just went to work after graduation. My oldest brother is still the only one of seven of us to have graduated college.

After I got my diploma (I didn’t attend graduation), I just wanted a “good job”- my only goal was to leave my parents’ house. They’re great people, but were unhappily married. I lived with my boyfriend and cashiered at Fred Meyer. Even though I was still a hard partier, I was also a hard worker and took on increasing responsibilities. In the fall of 1981 I got my own place and enrolled at PCC Sylvania. I’d earned 70 credits towards an Associates Degree in Merchandising when my ’67 Impala was stolen, along with my schoolbooks and 10-speed in the trunk (kept there in case my car broke down). I couldn’t keep up both working full-time and going to school while taking the bus. Those credits have gathered dust until now.

Lacking a degree didn’t prevent my advancement at Fred Meyer. After 8 years in the stores, progressing from pharmacy cashier to Hallmark department head, I was offered a position as a Buyer’s Assistant in the main office. I maintained my seniority while moving to different areas of the company, which kept my outlook fresh. From Health and Beauty Aids to Nutrition Center and Apparel, I advanced from Buying through Merchandising to the Executive office, peaking as assistant to the VP of Asset Management. My administrative and professional skills increased, and while I was downsized twice, I always found other areas where my abilities were welcomed.

I met Brian Stahl in 1987, and we married in 1990. Brian was a carpenter with law enforcement aspirations, which were shot down after a brief, painful term with the Portland Police Bureau in the mid-90s. By then I’d been with Fred Meyer for 16 years - almost half my life. It was time for a change. Brian and I had vacationed in southern Colorado and loved it, and after the police bureau fiasco, we planned our escape to Pagosa Springs, CO. Brian found work as a carpenter again, and I traveled across the country as a trainer for a software company, utilizing computer and systems knowledge gained through my work at Fred Meyer. I would miss my family - my parents (now divorced), brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews - save for my one brother, his wife and kids - were still in the Portland area. But moving to that tiny town liberated me.

I’ve always loved the arts. I’ve devoured books since I could read and love writing. I studied dance throughout my youth, performing in recitals and school plays. I was a magician’s assistant for a brief time. My social conscience is well-developed - I was class secretary as a high school sophomore, and I frequently volunteer. At some point, though - during my tenure at Fred Meyer, and maybe in my marriage - I stagnated, and away from Portland I felt freer to expand my boundaries. An excellent benefit of my software training job was travel, and during days before and after my trainings, I explored new places on my own: New Orleans, San Francisco, Louisville. I visited friends and family in St. Louis and the DC area. We now lived near Denver and Santa Fe. My outlook broadened.

I didn’t realize until I saw an opening for a position at the local library that it was my dream job. The software company had folded, and I was doing office work at a large ranch. But I was just biding my time. I knew I was perfect for the library and it for me. I detailed these thoughts and more in an essay to the hiring committee, and after two intense but fun “gang interviews”, I was offered a position as a library paraprofessional. I loved being among the books, and the library was a gathering place for open-minded people whose ideas I respected. I ordered and catalogued materials, sleuthed for answers to reference questions, and wrote the library column in the newspaper. I became Miss Mary the Story Lady, administered the summer reading program, and organized fundraisers. Until now, save for an occasional burst, my creativity and activism had been underutilized. In a small community, one can see the difference one’s efforts make. I became the President of the Pagosa Women’s Club. I got involved in church as secretary of the Parish Council. I joined a book group. I started practicing ballet again.

At 37 years old, fulfilled in my work and having made a place for myself in the community, it struck me: I wanted a baby BAD! Brian and I had tried on and off to get pregnant, but when it never happened, he wasn’t as disappointed as I was. After a couple of years, he moved north to Aspen for work, and I stayed in Pagosa Springs. Even if I had to do it alone, I needed to become a mom.

In mid-1999, I met and fell in love with a sheriff’s deputy named Joel Loudermilk who was also anxious to start a family. We married December 23, 1999, and Eva was born December 20, 2000, three days before our first anniversary. We bought a house in a community closer to Joel’s job in Durango, and I became the Assistant Director of the town library in Ignacio, CO, where I brought Eva to work with me until she got big enough to pull books off the shelves. Our little life was perfect.

Late 2001: more police drama (I must interject here and say that while both of my husbands were police officers at one time, I am no cop groupie. Everyone who knew the stoner me in high school was blown away that I was a librarian and married to “the man”). Anyway, Joel was demoted, and since he had family in Oregon too, he applied for jobs here. We ended up in Klamath Falls. I left a job and home I loved, but we were closer to family. Though my husband was struggling professionally and I hated Klamath Falls, I was determined to be a supportive partner. I found a part-time minimum wage position with the local library. It was fun, but not fiscally feasible, so I became a receptionist at the local newspaper office - still minimum wage, but full-time.

Just before Eva’s 2nd birthday and Christmas, Joel blindsided me by having me served with divorce papers. While we’d had some problems and had been to counseling, I was stunned. Once I regained my composure, though, I realized that Eva and I would be better off on our own. My family rallied around me wonderfully, but Eva and I stayed in Klamath Falls for three more years. I felt the need to make a go of it, and not slink away with my tail between my legs. I wanted Eva to be near her dad, but we also visited our family in Portland monthly. I bought a small cottage that was perfect for the two of us, complete with picket fence. I was hired as a school secretary at an alternative high school, where I created a working library from donated materials, and began a breakfast and lunch program for those kids who desperately needed nourishment for their bodies as well as their minds. I became politically active by becoming a precinct committeeperson. I performed in ‘The Vagina Monologues’ for three consecutive years as a fundraiser for the Klamath Crisis Center. When the school’s funding dried up, I was offered a position in a fledgling mentoring and character education program, created in cooperation with the Klamath County Sheriff and District Attorney’s office, and became a mentor myself. One summer when Eva was with her dad, my sister-in-law and I took an RV to the Burning Man Festival in Nevada’s Black Rock desert. I made my life as rich as I could, always keeping in mind the example I was setting for my daughter, and with the goal of making a difference whenever and wherever I could.

Wouldn’t you know I’d get laid off? Another challenge set at my feet just shy of Eva’s birthday and Christmas, 2005.

Eva spent that Christmas with her dad, so I met a high school friend in New York City for the holidays - a last hurrah before the hurdle of the next few months. I’d never been unemployed, and I felt like a loser. I decided two things: I’d had my fill of Klamath Falls, and since Eva would start kindergarten the following September, and I didn’t want to move her once she started school, it was now or never. With the house in Klamath Falls on the market and with my family’s help, Eva and I moved into Mom’s house in Beaverton.

During the next 6 months, I submitted over 160 resumes and applications, and had only 10 interviews. Even with my wealth of experience, my lack of education hurt me. Finally, with just $11 left in unemployment benefits, I was offered 3 jobs in one day: Oregon Education Association, Bonneville Power Administration, and Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory (NWREL).

I’ve been with NWREL over 2 years now. I work in the Volunteer Leadership Center, where (in conjunction with Bank Street College of Education) we organize trainings and provide curricula for AmeriCorps members and VISTAs - Volunteers in Service to America - also known as the domestic Peace Corps. NWREL is the most progressive employer I’ve worked for. I make a good living helping people, the benefits rock, and they’re family-friendly. I’m involved in my labor union, and I help out at Eva’s school when I can. My youngest sister and I teach Sunday school to Eva and her cousin and 20 other first-graders at the church that members of my family have attended for 30 years. We go to Eva's Grandma’s house weekly, visit Eva's Grandpa on his horse farm, and frequently spend time with the over twenty family members who live nearby. We take advantage of our proximity to the coast, ride MAX, and revel in the cultural opportunities the Portland area provides. Eva visits her dad for a long weekend each month during the school year, and for half the summer. Joel and his new wife will make Eva a big sister very soon. We’re on decent terms - we know that Eva is the most important factor in this equation.

I’m still a work in progress, but I’m grateful for where I’ve been, and look forward to where I’m going. And while all of my siblings are successful in their own way, soon my oldest brother will no longer be the only one of us to have graduated college.