On Being Catholic

Anyone who knows me knows that I am as irreverent as they come. I am also fairly progressive and open-minded. And maybe that is why some people are surprised to learn that I am a practicing Catholic. Sometimes it surprises me too. I have kind of a love-hate relationship with the church. There are many things about which we disagree - don't get me started. I have been married twice, but never in church. I have also been divorced twice, and it could be a cause-effect thing, but that's water under the proverbial. I see the church as a member of my family, and you don't leave your family if you disagree. In this way I have made my peace.

What do I love about the church? The ritual, for starters. It's a comfort to know that no matter where I go, most Catholic masses are going to be pretty much the same. The repetition of certain prayers can be a soothing mantra. Plus I love the smells of incense and candles and the stories of saints. I admit I love the opulence of most churches. But I give very little money to the church, especially since there has been so much paid out to settle lawsuits with victims of abuse at the hands of priests, which sickens me. Instead of money, I give my time. For the past two school years, I have taught CCD, which stands for Confraternity of Christian Doctrine - a confusing name for Sunday School.

When my daughter Eva started asking questions about God and about how everything got here and what happens when we die, I realized that she needed a spiritual foundation. I thought the best thing to do would be to expose her to what I grew up with. I rarely took her to church when she was younger. I consider mass sacred - it's my time to be reflective and feed my inner self and I resent it when people bring loud squirming kids to church. But once Eva exhibited some curiosity, I knew it was time to fill her in on what I believe and expose her to at least part of how I came to believe it. In this way she began her own journey.

Last year, my sister Laura and I taught Eva and her cousin Eliza - Laura's daughter - and 20 other little first-grade heathens (may God have mercy on their souls) what they could digest, at their level, about what Catholics believe. The curriculum was surprisingly dogma-free. They learned how God created everything (let them question Creation later, like *I* did!), and simple Bible stories. We taught them prayers, and about the church community and the church year. We did the Holy Family on a Stick craft, and colored stained-glass windows. We talked about why we should be nice to each other, aka the Golden Rule, and why we should care for the Earth. Sometimes we watched a Veggie Tales movie. It was kind of charming and sweet, except when the little darlings tested our patience.

Second grade is a bigger deal. This is the year of First Confession (now known as Reconciliation), and First Communion. Sister Marianne teaches Eva and Eliza and their friends. I still teach, but I have a group of older kids who have yet to make their first confessions and communions. Third and fourth graders are a little more challenging - the know-it-alls have gained confidence by this age. But I divert it as best as I can by sassing it up a bit and making it fun. Example: when I taught them that "amen" means, "I believe", we embellished it a bit. We declare, "Amen, Baby! I believe!" Hey, faith can be sassy - I think God smiles when we do this.

The thing is, I don't really believe in confession, but it's a requirement before communion, and another thing for Eva to figure out on her own later. I explained it to my class this way: you need to clean your inner house before you invite Jesus in, in the form of communion. If later in life, Eva decides she wants to report her transgressions to someone to receive forgiveness and lighten her psychological load, I will not judge her. My personal take is that if I do something wrong that I regret, God knows I am sorry - and I am not going to do it again. There are many things that I have done that the church frowns upon, but I consider these things a difference of opinion. We agree to disagree.

Last month Eva made her first confession, which was very charming - she was all nervous and quite frankly searching for sins to confess. Please, how many sins can an 8-year-old commit? But we've all lied and disobeyed our parents, so I'm sure that's what they talked about - I didn't ask, confession is private. And nowadays you don't get away with just having a chat with a guy behind a wall - you must first prepare and pass an interview so that you know the import of what you are about to undertake. You have to know that reconciliation is a celebration of God's forgiveness, and what a sin is, and the difference between a sin and an accident - which explains intent. You must know The Law of Love, which is love God with your whole heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. The Act of Contrition must be memorized, and it's a long prayer. We ended up singing it to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", which worked like a charm.

Now on to First Communion. More things to study for another interview. Plus, there's the whole fancy dress and party thing. This is a big deal in our family, especially since Eva and Eliza are both doing it.

Eva's dad - who thinks the Catholic Church is the Great Satan and has never forgiven them for The Inquisition - bought her a confection of a dress last year, specifically for her first communion. I used to describe it as a mini wedding dress, until I realized it's actually more of a wedding cake of a dress. Sadly, it's used and has schmutz on the bodice which can't be cleaned. It's a killer play dress.

Eva has picked out her own dress. It isn't all white - the bodice is lavender and it has little lavender flower petals in the skirt, but she will wear a little white cape over it, and it's her *DREAM DRESS*.

Maybe Eva is already learning the secret to loving your faith: jazz it up a bit and make it your own.