"You should blog! You should blog! You should blog! You should blog! You should blog!"

I have heard this so often and every time I do I think of my neglected blog. Here we are five years later. I have decided to use this as an online diary. Following is what has transpired since I started this blog, and what I suspect I will be writing about going forward.

My daughter Eva is now 13 years old, in seventh grade, and 5'8" tall. She gets amazinger and amazinger every day. I still have no idea how I got to be so lucky. The fact that she is not only beautiful, but smart and talented and NICE - so very very NICE - is beyond my ken. Must be some sort of reverse psychology, because I have learned so much from her about how to treat people.

Teenagers and menopausal women are an interesting combination.

I am unemployed. I apply for about 30 jobs a week in what I consider to be my "field" - administrative support. Usually referred to as a "rock star" in the most annoying of the want ads for this particular job. I would prefer to work non-profit as opposed to corporate, but at the moment, having spent the past 5 months not working, I am getting a little freaked out and ready to take anything. This happened before - the first 6 months of the year 2006, and I barely had any nibbles. And in the last week of my 26 weeks of benefits, I received three job offers. Come on history - repeat yourself already!

It is probably a good time to think about changing careers - something that will sustain me into retirement. This week, my ideas include floral design and being a Fat Yoga Instructor.

We have moved three times in the past two years. The best thing that has come out of this is the decluttering of our lives. We are no longer owned by our stuff.

The person I loved the most and quite possibly "the one true love of my life" died in April of 2010. My brother's wife of 30 years died last year. They were the best and purest souls that we brought into our family and it really has been weighing on me, this mortality.

I am now 52, fatter than I have ever been, have been single for 3 years, and I am not allowing any of these things to define me. I still act like I am 8 years old, according to Eva.

When I am not applying for jobs, I have been doing things that please me. Walking, swimming, being outdoors when I can (I can't wait for the spring!), watching movies, reading, and writing. I have also been spending a lot of time with my aging parents, who are both 79 for the next month, until my dad turns 80.

I am going to garden this year. Finally. Getting sunburnt and having dirt in my fingernails sounds so good right now.

My daughter and I are going to start volunteering at the Audubon Society this year.

Traveling and experiencing things are my goals now.

I recently dumped Facebook. It has become a time suck and there is too much chaff to wade through in order to find the wheat. Virtual society is more and more people posting links to articles or inspirational quotes or funny pictures, and less and less of people talking about themselves. I want to have personal relationships. I want to talk to people and see people. I want to mail people birthday cards instead of posting things on walls. I would rather have 20 REAL friends than 200 electronic friends.