I have known Kim for probably 25 years. We used to work together in the corporate offices of a NW retailer. Despite the fact that I have married and divorced twice and moved a dozen or so times in the interim years - five of those years in Colorado, and another four in a BF little town five hours' drive from Portland, we have remained good friends. We rarely talk on the phone. We have only snail mailed, emailed, and had lunches, or dinner or movie dates. I admire that she eschews Facebook, preferring "real" relationships.
Kim has always been very independent and stable. She has been with the same employer for probably 30 years, and lived in the same house she bought at least as many years ago. She knows, as I do, that it takes a helluva man to be better than none. Never married, she is one of the most self-aware and successful women I know.
She always looks put together. Perfect hair and makeup, always trim, and fashionably dressed. And no matter how slovenly I feel I look, she tells me I am a gorgeous goddess.
Almost every year she throws a huge themed birthday party for herself, and asks guests to bring gifts to benefit a charity of her choosing. One year it was a "bridal shower" for her and her "fiance" - a Mr. P.W. Herman. The next was a "baby shower" for the same. And the following year was a "divorce shower". Last year was an Alice in Wonderland costume party. All invitations include gift suggestions for the nonprofit she has chosen to benefit. Money is always the right size, but children's books and clothes, appliances, baby items, and more are requested. Of course, half the fun is watching her open these items and knowing that we are committing badass do-goodery in the name of fun.
She has volunteered with the same literary nonprofit for 23 years, but always credits me for her good works, saying that if I hadn't turned her on to the group, she would never have started.
Even though she has no children of her own, she is the penultimate "cool aunt", having maintained friendships with her friends' kids, going so far as to remain close to the kids even if or when the initial adult friendship has run its course.
When my daughter Eva was 3, because I lived out of town and rarely visited, I asked
Kim to host a tea party for Eva and her same-aged cousin Eliza, and for children of other friends. The fact that she did so without even thinking this was an unusual request speaks volumes to her generosity. It was a circus-themed affair - and hats were encouraged. The day was so warm that Eva took off her party dress and ended up in her panties only, and no one said a word. We all wanted to be only in our panties.
When we were worried that Mitt Romney might be elected President, we vowed to run away to Canada as a lesbian couple with my daughter.
Back in November, we were having one of our periodic lunches. Since I lost my job in September, she insists on paying, and often includes Eva. Lately, every time we see each other, we schedule the next date. We are both single, so we thought it would be fun to make our next date for Valentine's Day. Nothing fancy, maybe dinner and a movie.
Last night I got the following email: "I am really looking forward to this Mary...I am not sure if we ever talked about this, but Valentine’s Day is MY favorite holiday (birthday second) So what fun to share it with someone I admire and love as a true Goddess, you. Frankly, I think celebrating the evening with girlfriends is a truer sentiment for the day: the souls' connection to one another."
I have nothing further to add. How lucky am I?
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